Not My Cup Of Tea

#14 Quickie: Not Pounded In The Butt By Anything And That’s Okay

Here's one for all our homies who are not getting pounded at all this Valentine's Day! To be fair, we recorded this back in November but y'know, life. We thought this beautiful opus by our fav Dr. Chuck Tingle would be a great one for the ace, aro, and/or single gang while heteronormative concepts of love get shoved down our throats all week.

 

Content Warnings: innuendo, police encounter, NO sex

#13 Quickie: Tongue Sex God

For episode 13, we have something truly cursed! Enjoy listening to Johanna and Rin struggle to process this twisted tale of lies, (slight) vore and extremely detailed accounts of Mayan culture mixed with terrible porn. We fully blame author, Justin B. James, for any psychic damage you take if you choose to listen.

 

Content Warnings; mentions of slight vore, casual racism, mild xenophobia, being lost in the jungle, threat of violence, sex (duh)

#12 Barbarian Alien (Part 1)

It's a new year and we are back to the roots baby! Picking up from our very first episode, we tackle part 2 of Ruby Dixon's "Ice Planet Barbarians" series. This time, we follow our mouthy heroine Liz (not Liv even if Rin refuses to believe that) doing basically the exact same shit as her predecessor Georgie. But who can get enough of dubious alien porn, amirite?

 

Content warnings: mention of rape, dubious consent situations, starvation, weird parasite shit, misogyny (so much misogyny), animal harm, sex (duh)

#11 Quickie: The Sentient Physical Manifestation Of Halloween Eats Me Out

Yes, we know Halloween was two weeks ago. Do we care? No. After that last episode we needed something fun and wholesome and we found it in this chapter of the anthology "Scary Stories To Tingle Your Lesbian Butt" by the one and only Dr. Chuck Tingle.

 

Content warnings: abusive relationship, excessive Halloween decor, supernatural elements, sex (duh)

#10 Quickie: Dairymaid Café

It's Halloween weekend! Now, this one isn't exactly spooky in the traditional sense but nevertheless not for the faint-hearted. "Dairymaid Café", the first instalment of Ellen Dominick's Hot Little Shop series, features probably the most out-there kink we have discussed so far. And that's coming from the show that's had vegetables, ghost pirates, space raptors, and so much more so buckle in folks!

 

Content warnings: ASMR, unemployment after college (ooft), financial desperation, mention of human trafficking, mummy issues, excessive Oedipus jokes, body morphing, sex (duh)

#9 Flash Bang (Part 2)

Ok so maybe we didn't return "next week"..but here's the thrilling (read: fucking terrible) conclusion to Meghan March's Flash Bang! Now with even MORE mummy issues, misogyny, and flaming hot rage!

 

Content warnings: gun violence, bodily harm, threat of rape, kidnapping, daddy issues, mummy issues, emotional manipulation, pregnancy

#8 Flash Bang (Part 1)

We're finally back with a full length episode! But we really wish we weren't! Listen to us trying to make it through more than 5 minutes of Meghan March's "Flash Bang" without breaking into a rant. In fact, we had so much to say about this book that we had to split it into two parts, but worry not, this post-apocalyptic threesome extravaganza will return next week!

 

Content warnings: sexual assault, regular assault, injury and bodily harm, misogyny, gun violence, child abandonment, kidnapping, mention of death of a spouse, mention of suicide, mention of drug addiction, general violation of bodily autonomy, sex (duh)

#7 Quickie: Scarecrow Gangbang

Remember the unexpected bonus book at the end of Ghost Pirate Group Encounter? Well here it is! Hank Wilder pulled a sneaky on us and included an extra story of the series "Monsters Made Me Gay" and it's....surprisingly wholesome? But yes, the title means exactly what you think it means.

 

Content warnings: death of a spouse, questioning sexuality, supernatural curses, group sex (duh)

#6 Quickie: The Milkmaid - with Yasmin‘s Corner

Guys, we jinxed it. I know that last week, we told you we only pick the most amazing books but this one...this ain't it chief. We had high hopes, period piece, vampires, nice over art, what could go wrong right? Our pure cinnamon roll of a friend Yaz joins us as we start Kahlua Stark' series "The Erotic Tales Of A Regency Vampire: The Milkmaid", it ended in actual tears.

 

Content warnings: dubious consent, sexual assault, power imbalance, age difference (he's a vampire), mentions of legal system, mentions of serial killers, voyeurism, bad sex (not duh bc usually at least there's orgasms)

#5 Quickie: Ghost Pirate Group Encounter

Dive into an alternate universe with us that is juuust different enough from our own to avoid a copyright lawsuit. This masterpiece is part of the series "Monsters Made Me Gay" penned by Hank Wilder and well I don't know what to tell you, there's pirates, they're ghosts, there's a group of them. Find out the details for yourself!

 

Content warnings: internalised homophobia, questioning sexuality, doubting one's sanity, paranormal activity, bad geography, sex (duh)